Calvin 6 weeks old.
Calvin 4 months old.
5 months
6 months
7 months
looking back at these pictures now (in terms of the craniosynostosis story) kind of breaks my heart, it also strengthens my testimony of the fact that we are really helped through our trials. I NEVER complained about calvin's craniosynostosis - it was just life. As we all do with our children, I just loved Calvin and that was all that mattered. However, looking at these pictures makes me remember that it was difficult to walk around with a funny looking baby. I have now 3x had the experience of carrying around beautiful little girl babies that people ooh and ahh over. It is nice. It never really bothered me that carrying around Calvin people would stop and stare or defer making comments about his cuteness b/c I didn't know any better. I guess that is why looking back at these pictures now I am flooded with emotion and can really feel that grief I felt when I knew I didn't have a normal child. I am also reminded of the constant fear I had and the looming surgery. Even though I had been told all would be well I always had it in the back of my mind that he might actually die during the operation or have brain damage and never be the same afterwards. As I said, I never complained or felt short changed at all but it was difficult. I don't think I could do it again. I know that through our trials we are given help by angels in heaven and on earth and that we are given the strength we need to survive. It is a beautiful miracle.
3 comments:
He is adorable! What a sweet little boy. Never saw him while he was a baby so it's nice to see pics now. :)
Well I think he sure was a cute baby!
Calvin was an adorable baby.... but it must have been hard with all you were dealing with and facing. You have shown such a good attitude... but certainly deserve to grieve for the tough times and losses you've been through. You're such a good mom and person. :)
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