residency thoughts and taking a moment to brag about how awesome dave is

We have 17 months left 'til Dave is done with residency. I was thinking I would write a bit about our residency since when we leave next year I will be so busy and frazzled with moving/packing/cleaning that I probably won't have time to write. June 2014 has been a far off date in my mind since we matched 7 years ago and now it is coming up.

We have loved residency in San Diego. It has been such a great place for us personally and professionally. We could not have chosen some place better and if we had tried we definitely would have made a mistake. Some of the blessings of being here have been ones we could not have foreseen when we were making our rank list 7 years ago.

The training- 1st thing to talk about is the surgical training Dave received here. It has been fabulous. Dave has had a lot of operative experience starting very early in his residency. Moving to the VA and Children's Hospital in the 3rd and 4th years gave Dave additional operative experience that could not have been gained if he had stayed at the main hospital. Certain attending drs were very good at stepping back and letting the residents do it all which, though kind of scary, is so important to the training of a surgeon.  Another important aspect of Dave's training was his 2nd year running the ICU, giving Dave the opportunity to care for critically ill patients and work with the ICU team.  In recent years there have been ICU neuro docs who have been hired and taken over the 2nd year resident responsibilities in part. , Dave was in many ways lucky to have trained when he did and received that intense training in the ICU.

In addition to training within a great program, Dave has taken it upon himself never skip a case he is invited to whether he is on call or it is his responsibility or not. Dave says that learning to be a good surgeon is his job and it is his personal responsibility to be sure he is the best he can be.  He says that when patients come to him and want an operation he wants to be confident that there is nobody else better he could send them to because he has prepared himself as best he could. (not all residents think this way. that's why you would be lucky to have dave be your dr.)   :)

The hours - Some people tell me that I have forgotten how bad it was at the beginning! I do remember intern and jr year dave would get up at 4:30 and go in to pre-round. YUCK! He would have 10-12 in house call nights/month meaning that almost every day he was either on call or post call. The kids wouldn't see him until his day off every other weekend since he would leave before they got up and come home after they were in bed or not at all.  In spite of the major sleep deprivation and worries that he'd die driving I only had to go get him and drive him home one time.   He used to fall asleep everywhere we went, church, home, friends houses. Once we had friends over and I remember him totally asleep on the couch before we even started dinner. Those were some long months!

Year 3 dave was on call for Children's every day except one day off a week. That was a huge pain/burden since he could never expect a full night of sleep and we could never go anywhere as a family since we had to have dave free to leave at anytime. That was a heavy responsibility. 

The past 2 years Dave has been on a reserach period where his call is minimal and he can often work from home writing papers and analyzing data. I have been completely spoiled to have him home so much and to get this little oasis in what is for sure going to be a life of him being on call most of the time and working really hard.

The people - Coming to a big expensive city like San Diego meant there weren't as many resident families in our community as there would have been had we stuck to a smaller town. However, we have enjoyed the few special relationships we've built with the residents Dave works with. Especially Dave's chief - Min Park and Dave's co-resident Chiazo Amene. 

We have loved the attendings, not all equally of course, but some have been really great. Lots of characters in the group for sure! I always get a kick out of the stories Dave brings home about each one of them.

The place - San Diego. Oh how we love San Diego. We did not know how much it would mean to us to be here but we have loved it. Did I mention we love San Diego? Okay, I am exhausting this point but really it is great for us. The weather is fabulous. The schools are great. There is special education for Calvin. (small towns would not have had what we need for him). We are near family - this is priceless!  Everyone asks me if I am super excited for Dave to finish residency and my answer is always, "no becuase we might have to leave San Diego."  Life is good for us here.

The work - Dave LOVES his job! I am so glad.  It is exciting and challenging and  fun for him. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

The family - Living by family has been amazing.  Dad and Kari and Shi have been great to live by. They take us out, drop of treats, take kids on special outings for b-days, do holidays with us, etc. It is wonderful. Recently pete and jessica moved here and that has added blessings by the bizillions.  And of course there's Dan! Dan lived with us for 5 years of residency. He is the reason I am still sane. While Dave was working rediculous hours I was putting my kids to bed at 7 and then going out to soccer, book club, mutual or wherever else I wanted while Dan babysat the sleeping kids. Dave and I went on regular dates becuase Dan was here.  Dan helped me with Calvin when I got stranded places and needed help.  We miss him! Every letter the kids write to him they say "when are you coming home? Hopefully this doesn't make him to home sick. We are for sure home sick for him!  He gets home  from his mission a month or two after we finish residency.

The future - this residency has opened doors for the future. We don't know exacly where we'll land yet but I know that Dave will be able to get the job type he wants.  In other words, UCSD is a good enough program to prepare Dave for whatever future he wants.

What's next?  Well, this fall Dave will apply for fellowship in pediatric neurosurgery. It is a small match since not too many neurosurgeons want to train for an extra year and take a pay cut because of it.  In Dec. he will match to a one year fellowship spot. Hopefully an exciting job at a children's hospital will follow the felloship year!  Not sure where either the job or the fellowship will be.

One day while we were on vacation I let the kids each paint a picture on canvas. I might hang them up in the house somewhere. I need to get pics of the finished product and add those.

Love the size comparison between jo (18lbs) and dog who is a good 100lbs more.

Jo loved painting!

I have never had a baby that loved a bottle. Heck, I've never had a baby that even took a bottle. Jo started liking a bottle around 1 year. I don't care at all that the pediatrician says I should give it up. It gets her fluids and it doesn't make a mess. She also drinks from cups, but it sure is convenient for on the go!

This baby, like my other girls, never stops talking. She is such a fun little person and becoming quite a character! We all love her so much.

new years

I Love new years goal setting time.  Here is what I think about goal setting. You really miss out if you do not set goals for yourself.  Sure, you might fail sometimes. Maybe you will even fail every year.  If your goals are lofty and help you improve it is worth shooting for the stars! That being said, I like to focus on one or two important things rather than have a list of goals, otherwise I get too distracted and overwhelmed. I figure if I do one good thing a year I am moving in the right direction and if I live a while longer I will be making steady progress.  When my Mom was dying of cancer one of the things she hated to hear most of all is "oh, it's too late to change."  As one who had only a few months to live, my mom thought it was preposterous to hear people say it was too late to change when they did actually have the time to make it happen.

"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than attempt  do nothing and succeed." Robert Shuller

"The credit belongs to the man in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, and who comes up short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause. The man who at best knows the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, fails while daring greatly, so that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who never knew victory or defeat." Calvin Coolidge

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." Thomas Paine''

Like these guys said -- the very worst kind of failure is not trying at all!


This years goals:
1. Finish the ward scripture reading program with Calvin and Clare. Our bishop put together and amazing scripture reading program that runs from Jan 1-Easter to help us know our Savior better. It is about 15 minutes/night. So far, it is great. If you want to check it out here is the link.  

2. no yelling. I am a yeller. I am feisty   I could do better if I use a gentle voice more often. One of my friends said that years ago she was talking to her kids about yelling and her kids told her she yells too much. She is not a yeller, but they lived in a big house and she'd often yell upstairs to tell the kids to get up or come downstairs!  She was shocked to find out that her kids thought she was a yelling mom!  I loved that she decided not to yell when she heard this. It was years ago and she is a great example of mothering to me.  This year, I am going to work on not yelling (as much)!   I want to have a more peaceful house and I know that this starts with me. I have some super sweet soft spoken friends whose kids are soft spoken and it is absolutely amazing to me.  Though we will never be THAT soft spoken I want to use more gentle words this year and walk around my big house if I need something rather than yell. (hey, it'll be good exercise too).  I want to save the real yelling for when the kids really need to be scared into stopping (like running into the road or doing something really dangerous). 

Here is my quote to go along with that "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

Keeping this in mind I am trying to find alternative ways to talk to the kids when they make me mad, don't obey and fight with each other.

Christmas 2012

We got SLAMED with sickness this Christmas. Lex threw up one time Dec 20th.  Then Chrsitmas Eve around 2am Clare woke up sick. Poor little thing was basically stuck downstairs (we had barricaded the stairs so nobody could come upstairs and peek). Clare made it through most of present opening but was so sick that over the next few days she was surprised at all the presents she realized she had or others had that she didn't remember seeing on Christmas Day. Alexey and Calvin got it on the 27th. Abbey got it on the way home in the car and on the airplane (poor dear) on the 27th also. Denise and Scott got it on the 31st (at almost the exact minute - though scott was back home in DC), Jo got it on the 4th. So far Dave is the only one who was spared. Lance didn't get it either but he was sick with something else all week. It was a crazy few weeks but on the bright side we were all done with kids sing, we were able to sit around and watch TV all day, nobody threw up in the car and really nobody was seriously sick. It is just awful but not life threatening or anything. And my kids actually thought it was awesome because they got to watch so much TV. The days after I had it we watched all the star wars movies together!

 

Anyway, in spite of the sickness we moved on as usual.

 

 

 

 

santa came...

Jo- talking doll and chair

Calvin -mario cart remote controlled car

Clare - CD player with CD's - Taylor Swift Red, Primary Songs and Peter Pan

Lexey - Play Kitchen

 

Also Santa brought each kid some sugar cereal. This was awesome since mom never buys sugar cereal, it was a special treat. Plus it was great becuase I didn't have to do anything for breakfast on Chrsitmas day!

calvin can't wait to come upstairs!

The entire gang (Clare is hiding) Abbey (far left) is scott's girlfriend who came to spend a couple of days with us

 

LOVE lexey's face when she first saw her Play Kitchen!

Clare

her favorite Christmas gift was this journal.  Who knew it would be the $5 little extra that is her treasured possession.

 

Lex wins prize for most darling on christmas morning!

She loves her new shoes.

 

This is her I - am- so- happy- I -am-shocked face!

well, maybe she tied with Jo! She was pretty cute too!

This toy shopping cart actually came with LExey's kitchen but Jo swiped it so fast everyone considered it hers. Lex was sweet to give it up to Jo forever!

It is perfect for pushing around babies and mimi's (her name for her little blankets).

Lance was not feeling well all week. Not sure what bug got him. He didn't eat and could barely lift his head up he was so tired. Unlike the rest of us, he didn't barf so he obviously have something different.

 

The best part of Christmas was Skyping with Dan! It was great to see him. He weighs 200 lbs, down from 300 lbs last May! He is amazing. He is definitely more serious than he was 6 months ago but still has his humor and cute personality! I am posting all of these pics b/c I didn't go through and pick out a favorite yet.

Lance loves tressel.

Calvin made this gingerbread house at school!  He had a lot of help. It sounds like he basically told the adult where to put everything and they made it for him. Glad he had a good time and was very happy about how things turned out.

meal planning

My cute sis-in-law has been posting weekly menus on her blog. It is nice to share ideas and also have a record of what has been done in the past so that hopefully meal planning in the future will be easier!

This week I'll join in the fun.

M - Pizza and Apple Crisp!!  National championship game!
T - stacked veggie enchaladas
W - stir fry- My Mom's recipe. I will write it out another time.
Th - veggie pasta. Saute veggies in pan with a little oil and garlic salt. Add a can of stewed tomatoes. Blend in Blender to chunky consistensy and simmer. Pour over hot lb of cooked pasta. Serve with parm cheese.
Fri - date night
Sat -  tortilla soup
Sun - crock pot enchaladas

Other things to try
mushroom barley soup

I like two peas and their pod. She is obviously a healthy eater and most of her meals are meat free, so we'll try a few of her recipes this week!